Day 14: I Am Disturbed

It was not known just how tight the security had got at Affiliate Window after last weeks full security lockdown.

If security was fully tightened, we would never find out what Project Darwin is or what it might be, but if it was slightly slack, we probably might. “Ze Mole” was ordered to investigate.

His report revealed some disturbing facts, and if that wasn’t disturbing enough, it is quite disturbing too:

A Tank outside DW HQ, probably

This surveillence photograph was taken with a camera and clearly shows there might be a Tank parked outside DW HQ. It is not known what type of tank this is, but it is a M-47 Patton Medium Tank from the US Army from off of the other side of the Atlantic river.

As if I wasn’t disturbed enough, there is a tiny little man balanced on the left hand side of the tank, but on the right in the photograph, because it’s backwards. But not like a mirror.

Tanks are big and cumbersome, and are easy enough to sneak past if they’re not looking. However, the following image taken with probably a camera shows just how locked down the Affiliate Window security am.

This super-imposing isn't very super, is it?

It is unclear what they think they look like, or if their heads go right to the top of those hats.

Little is known how dangerous these guards might be to anyone attempting to infiltrate DW HQ. It is thought their guns might not work rightly, because of tourists, but we know their bayonets could hurt alittle.

“Ze Mole” was ordered to test the readyness of the DW HQ guards by baiting them with various jibes and whatnot, then film it so we could all see at a later date. These are his results:

“I zneaked up on ze guards and called one of zem ze little girl. Ze guard waz zo annoyed zat hiz hand ztarted to twitch, like on zat coffee advert from along time ago”

“I decided to check on juzt ‘ow zerious zey might be when it comez to zer guarding duties. I quickly came up wiz a cunning plan like ze fox.

I ztood in front of a guard and pulled ze moon like from of off ze Braveheart moviez. It took a few momentz for ‘im to notiz ze bared bum of Ze Mole.“

“All ze while I waz baring my ‘arriz at zis guard, ze ozzer ran for reinforcementz“

“It waz very clear to me zat ze guards are at a full ztate of readynezz and zat zey run like ze little girlz. Infiltrationz will zertainly be problematicz, but I do not know if zer ‘eadz go right to ze top of zer ‘atz“

Zat report, *ahem*, That report from “Ze Mole” came as a shock to everyone at “the” HQ. We were aware that security was tight surrounding DW HQ and Project Darwin and what it is, but we clearly underestimated how difficult it would be to infiltrate the bit what they’re guarding.

Based on this report, the heads of “the” have decided to put all plans of forced infiltration on the back burner and Plan B has been put into operation. This involves an “operative” posing as an “affiliate” and having his name put into a hat. Hopefully, his name will be drawn out so he can attend the not so secret unveiling of the secrets of Project Darwin and what it might be. This not so secret secret meeting will take place on Friday the 24th July 2009 at the Affiliate Window offices, 100 Leman Street, London E1 8EU. Telephone: +44 (0)20 7553 0425

It is not known if the hat in question is similar to that worn by the guards.

Or if their heads go right to the top of it.

Posted: July 20th, 2009 under Journal.

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