Day 18: am I bovered?
“the” has been well and truly clocked after a large number of “backs” were made for my Journal entry yesterday on a interweb called A4U. As the identity of “the” may have been potentially compromised, I wanted to know how it happened, why it happened and what it happened so I could stop it happen again? Aye, Happen!
“Ze Mole”’s Mole was sent in to investigate:
Face?
“In the morning of the 24th July 2009, an Evil Doctor of the omnipresent evil named Affiliate Window, who are definitely Evil, heard say of “the” Journal entry containing my covertly stolen video of a private briefing regarding the top secret Project Darwin.
This caused great concern within certain higher ranks at DW HQ and I feared I may be about to be found out.
As I listened at the door of the DW Commander’s command room with my standard issue empty glass to my ear, I overheard the following, slightly incoherant screams:
Unnamed Commander: Have our competitors got wind of Project Darwin?
Another Unnamed Commander: Who the hell does this guy think he is blabbing this crap all over t’internet?
A Different Unnamed Commander: We all like a laugh, but this is too far.
The First Unnamed Commander: He’s threatening nearly a years work here!
The Second Unnamed Commander: Heads must roll, blood must run through the streets.
Chris Giddins: I might even drink some of it, cos I’m a Vampire Bat, Man!
These Evil Commanders sent communication through the ranks of DW HQ asking who was responsible for what was described as “a disgusting display of company disloyalty”. The communication contained a link to yesterday’s Journal entry.
As there was no reply to this communication, each operative in turn was lead blindfolded into a spare office and interrogated under really bright desk lamps and a dripping tap while their feet were beaten with bamboos.
In an evil attempt to “spin” what potentially threatened nearly a full year’s work, Guns were held to the operatives heads and the heads of their families until they clicked the A4U “back” button. Obviously, this was the only way the Affiliate Window operatives would ever “back” such a thing, as they are completely unable to think for themselves, and have no sense of humour.
Luckily for me, the Evil Commanders didn’t believe one operatives stuttering explanation and he was promptly shot with a Luger. That was that Ollie, who is in Australia and unable to refute my account, so it’s probably true. He’ll come back off his jollys and wonder why he’s dead.”
Bovered?
This was clearly a very near miss for “the”’s Plan D-F of infiltration. It would have been disasterous should “Ze Mole’”s Mole have been discovered sending video’s from DW HQ, however badly recorded and clearly done without full approval of the Commanders or the knowledge of those in the room. Otherwise they’d have at least done their hair. And maybe put on a tie.
Am I Bovered though?
Further research into the affects of this “spin” leads “the” to believe today’s events could have worked in our favour. Now everyone know’s Affiliate Window to be an Evil Entity and expects their Beta access to be withdrawn. Historically, Affiliate Window do not tend to take their ball and jumper home just because someone cries “Foul, ref”, but ya never know, they are Evil after all.
Not even Bovered:
One problem with the events of today. “the” managed to sneak an operative into the secret launch of secrets of Project Darwin and what it is, but now, “the” feels duty bound to defend himself and the “Evil”.
So the Project Darwin Debrief post will have to wait until tomorrow, but here’s a sneaky peak:
Cue every other affiliate trying to beat "the" to the outing of Darwin. Let em, mine will be funnierest, and you know it.
Sayin’ my Dad lives on a Bench?
Oh, and go read “the” disclaimer please.
Posted: July 24th, 2009 under Journal.