Day 8: something else happens

Reports from our telecommunications spys suggest that the existence of “the” has been outed to the world wide affiliate community. This is of obvious concern due to the number of independant investigators who may snaffle our reports and possibly even link to them.

We might have a leak:

DW HQ has been set on high alert and has undergone a full security lockdown. It is speculated that Digital Window could have a Mole working inside “the”. This is of the utmost concern as we are unlikely to uncover their secrets if they suspect their secrets aren’t as secret as they suspected. All “the” operatives (except me) are having their communications monitored from here-on-in, and we expect to plug the leak within the next few years.

How VERY dare he:

One independant Agent, known only by his unlikely alias: “Kieron Donoghue“, has publicaly outted “the” as “Nutters“. We are not nutters, and we are not we, we are “the”, therefore we are “A Nutter“.

Regardless of this ever-so-slight Faux Pas, it is quite apparant that he has got our number and should be watched carefully. For further investigative needs Kieron can be located here.

Hermy, where Hagger?:

Added confusion has been admitted by a certain “Heggerz“, after finding “the” top secret case files on Project Darwin. Believed to be one Julie Hegarty, little is known of the confunded other than she is mad, blonde, scatty and may or may not be the one with the beard. As for the title of this paragraph, you’ll either get it or you won’t.

Not Orville:

A previously mentioned duck has likened Affliate Window to “Torchwood’s 456“, although we don’t have a clue what he means by this. It is thought 456 could be a secret society with connections to the “5-6-7-8″, but this is unconfirmed and I can’t be bothered to confirm it.

Facing the Book:

A completely unknown has messed about with some link shortening service and informed everyone of the Journal entry I made on everybody elses day off. It is impossible at this time to investigate “Micheal” as facebook won’t let me in. It is entirely possible “Micheal” is a codename for  “The Marketing Mix“, who asked a question. This investigation has been given the highest priortah and some resources will be used to find out who he is and what he knows. The use of a cattle prod  has not been ruled out.

Twat my Face:

To learn the truth about Project Darwin, I need to connect with other independant Agents and possibly steal some of their ideas. Therefore, I must become a Twatter and Book My Face. Further more, “the” is now an Affiliate For You, if you want me.

Posted: July 14th, 2009 under Journal.

Comments

Comment from mikejds
July 14, 2009 at 7:19 pm

Very entertaining read
Its quite funny because there is only 1 person who I know that writes in this style.
I know who ‘the’ is.

Good luck with your investigation too

MichAEl

[Reply]

Admin Pi Reply:
July 14th, 2009 at 9:22 pm

You’re right, I am exactly who you think I am, so long as you are thinking that I am “the”.

[Reply]

Comment from Jules
July 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm

I get the title of the paragraph – Grawp says it in Harry Potter – The Order Of the Phoenix.
Oh, and I’m the one without the beard!!!!

[Reply]