Day 17: “the” get a look at Project Darwin

It is later than I usually Journal in my Journal today. I have been away studying the Evolution of Dinosaurs with hopes a 3 fold:

• To learn more about “Dr” Charles “Evil-ution” Darwin’s theorumistic notionary
• To have a well deserved day off my investigative duties.
• To shut “the” bloody kids up for a few hours.

Whilst I was away, Important evidence came to light about Project Darwin and what it is. You heard me, not what it might be, what it is.

I learnt little about Darwin’s Evolution whilst Walking with Dinosaurs at Sheffield Arena, which was actually really good. They used real Dinosaurs, I told my 6 year old, and I think the paleontologist was that bloke who was once in Emmerdale. Ya know the one who got jilted at the alter years ago, only he’s older now and has a beard.

Suprise Suprise:

Anyway, no clues in the Jurrassic period as to what awaits those lucky young affiliates as they enter DW HQ at 11 am in the morning, but imagine my suprise when I get a suprise report from “Ze Mole”, just after me tea:

“Zis is Ze Mole. I ‘av ‘ad my own mole in ze building of ze DW HQ for zum time now. I ‘av largely been dizzappointed wiz hiz werk. To be honezt, I waz ztarting to zink he ‘ad defected.

But lo and ze behold, he ‘az finally come through wiz abit of gold zat proves zat ze “the” knowz more about ze Project Darwin zan you do. Pleaze find attached zum footage zat Ze Mole’s Mole haz captured.

‘opefully ‘e will not be found out and executed, like zey did wiz zat traffic cone”

Attached to “Ze Mole”’s report was the following grainy footage:

As you can see, this is remarkably footage, and more of Project Darwin than anyone outside of DW HQ personnel has ever seen before.

So, Ner.

The Moment of Truth:

Let’s break it down like James Brown.

We see a room with at least 4 guys in it. That room definitely might be a room at DW HQ, probably the meeting room, cos it’s got a projector in it.

Who are those 4 guys?

Well, they’re not Chris Giddins as there is no sign of a cape. They’re not George Fletcher either, as he has categorically stated that he won’t allow any photo of him to appear in any of my reports and has refused to cough one up. Anything will do, the drunker the better.

These three guys are wearing T-Shirts in an office work environment, so are possibly coders. Coders can hand type 2 million lines of code an hour, but they cannot do up a tie right. Something to do with RSI in the fingers, apparantly.

Coders do not like having their faces put on blogs, apparantly

It is possible that one of them is a Mr Simon Chettle, who is the lead developer of Project Darwin. I mentioned him in my Journal before, but removed all traces because apparantly he wasn’t too impressed. Touchy these Developers, aren’t they? I don’t know which one is him though,  and I promised not to use Simon Chettle’s name in my Journal again. So I won’t.

Blind Date:

Probably the most interesting part of this footage is the bit on the wall, which is definitely Project Darwin. Not the wall itself, the bit ON the wall is Project Darwin, the wall is just a wall.

We see some stuff, possibly an Avatar, definitely a Lightbox and I think there is evidence of a chat type thingamybob. Here’s a still of the avatar type thing:

Definitely a probable Avatar

And here’s a still of the chatty thing in a Lightbox:

The chatty thing might not actually be a chatty thing, but it possibly are.

And here’s a still of an arm belonging to an unknown operative dubbed “The Fourth Guy in the Video” (dun dun duuuuuhh!)

The Arm, a Phone and Project Darwin, by C.S.Lewis

Cilla Live:

So what does it all mean?

Well I’ve been saying for AGES that Project Darwin is going to run from off of Ajax. Lightboxes are Ajaxy too, and a chat type thingamybob is definitely Ajax, otherwise it’ll be slow and rubbish. So it all means I’m right about the Ajax and worth the money “the” pay me.

Chatty things are good for chatting, but can also be good for getting answers really quickly. Questions like “Can I make you rich please?” are all well and good, but historically, affiliates have had to wait upto a week to get a reply similar to “Maybe, but only if you promote us properly“.

Questions like “Where’s Wally?” and “Who let the dogs out?” tend to take  alot longer to be answered, if they ever do.

Posted: July 24th, 2009 under Journal.

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